Back to Work

Sometimes I think I should not take off any days from work. It seems inevitable that the time off does not refresh me or make me 'want' to go back to work. It instead makes me lazier than I already am. Going back to work becomes a burden. Taking time away from important tasks like reading, napping or just in general slothliness...sweats replacing work clothes as attire of the day...being able to opt out on the shaving routine...snacking on leftover xmas sweets...eating only food that is guaranteed to increase my roundness factor...crumbs stuck to the front of my well worn, wrinkled and stained sweatshirt could give clues to a CSI team as to my last 24 hours of slovenly behavior...all this amidst the fear of having to answer the door to a relative or friend, while looking like an escapee from a rehab facility...one of those places where you hear..."Hi, my name is Rick and I am addicted to junk food." or, "Hello, my name is Rick and my exercise routine consists of walking briskly from the couch to the refrigerator and back, but only during commercials or timeouts."...yea...one of those places...hmmmmm.....you know...maybe I should go to a rehab center...I could meet some totally screwed up pop diva...fall into some kind of mutual enabling love...marry her...then divorce her and get $20000 a week for support...Hey!...that is a great idea...after I finish this I am taking a month off...I have a plan...now where did I put those Cheetos?