Some things never change...me drunk on a Saturday night is not change...it is just a form of inertia.
Went to McG's tonight...to watch the New England vs the easy to beat team (shit I am too drunk to remember, maybe later...) 28 to 3. Chris is out of town...she went to Seattle to go to a bridal show thingy with our daughter, Megan and friends. She (Chris) called home around 6 ish to tell me about the day and it sounded exciting. She was back at the hotel room having a drink to take the edge off of the day. The talking was mostly one sided, she needed to recap her day. I needed to let her know that I was listening.

Jacksonville...that is the name of the easy to beat team...damn I am good.

Caffeine and alcohol...those are my addictions. Both sooth me...it does not make sense, but I am not a sensible person. Both have a warmth that attracts me. I am a cold person...this I do know. Caffeine, besides the quickening of thought, is taken by me hot, as in coffee, and it is this warmth that caresses my soul...the warmth of alcohol is a caustic warmth...not good for me but...soothing in a chemical way.

Chemicals are what Americans look for to change their world. I am no different. I am a full blown chemically dependant American. A construct of the ideal American. Coffee to get me going every morning and alcohol every evening to mellow out the caffeine jag.

This is not a real journal... I do not feel like I can tell all that I think...my coldness works against this option...